Veteran, carpenter, coder, student, asshole.

 

Jesus is watching me, and I think he wants a hit

Jesus is watching me, and I think he wants a hit

alcoholandcuddles is my #wcw. She taught me about taco town and made me potatoes. Also, I punched her in the face once.

alcoholandcuddles is my #wcw. She taught me about taco town and made me potatoes. Also, I punched her in the face once.

Just finished doing basic maintenance under the hood of my car.  I forgot how awesome it feels to be independent and able to do shit that most people pay other people to do.  I will live in the mountains away from people one day.

ketchuprocket:

all-the-other-humans:

Fucking physics

Somewhere in the world, a physics professor writes the perfect exam question.

ketchuprocket:

all-the-other-humans:

Fucking physics

Somewhere in the world, a physics professor writes the perfect exam question.

(Source: engineeringnow)

I’m going to start writing erotic comedies and selling them on amazon. So many awkward experiences I might as well profit from them.

Title ideas: “Small Talk Isn’t Dirty Talk,” “The Girl I Couldn’t Turn Over: a Tale of Enormous Magnitude,” “‘Sometimes I Can’t’ and Other Daily Meditations,” “The Sewer Next to the Playground,” “How’d I Get So Serious?” and “Is It Whiskey Dick or Your Face: a Mystery.”

Not everything happens for a reason. Sometimes life just sucks.

Alexa Chung (via suspend)

(Source: alexturnerisababe)

I was a cop in the military for six years. I’ve been shot at, baseball bats swung at me, knives pulled on me, and one time a sword. I’ve fought wife beaters, drug dealers, and various other criminals. I’ve been trained in advanced survival, hand to hand, and marksmanship techniques. I am certified to teach self defense to civilians and police.

And yet the bane of my existence is five feet tall and wears flowers in her hair. Gay.